Ohana means Family
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last year or so. Evolving and such. Its been great, exhausting, but great! And while I’ve concluded this a while ago, I haven’t written about it, so here we are. Me.. Writing about it. Well, some of it. LOL .
If I had to explain who I am at my core it would focus on my core values.
A Safe Space – A place where anyone is able to be themselves. Be accepted as they are with out judgement. If something doesn’t make sense, faces aren’t made and fingers aren’t being pointed. Instead, there is curiosity. A drive to seek to understand and a calm acceptance at also not knowing.
Therapy kind of helped me realize how much of my core seeks this out. I’m sure there will be more said about the discoveries I’ve made in therapy. But, it has absolutely helped a lot, and the world is really starting to make more sense. (As much as this circus can make sense)
Seek to understand – Even the people we most despise have a story, a journey to how they got to where they are. It could be snorting drugs, loving trump, being a bigot etc. Don’t immediately jump to hatred or any other feeling. Seek to understand. I did this with my uncle. For me, he has very far fetched views. Pro Trump, Pro Conspiracy Theories etc. But, for several hours of my drive moving to WA, I spoke with him and his wife and was beyond intrigued by their story of how they got to where they are now. Their thought process.
It made sense to me in a way. They had the same concerns and frustrations about the world, politics etc, but approached digesting it and reacting to it very differently. The journey was incredible. I really enjoyed being able to have that conversation. At one point I was asked if I was recording them. But I doubt they will ever know how much I really loved that conversation. It didn’t change my view point on things, but it did help me understand a couple people that I care about, more.
New Experiences – If you have known me for any length of time you will already know that I love new experiences. New experiences provide the ability to understand more. Any time we experience something new it is a lesson. We might not realize it, but that new experience taught us that the pan was hot, that insulin is important, that the ice is slippery and to approach those things with a little more caution or respect. A little more understanding.
I will always encourage people to seek new experiences. Besides – Material things don’t last. They get lost, deteriorate, become obsolete, in the way etc. Memories, Experiences. Those are forever. They become a part of you. Even if you can’t recall the specific experience, there is a part of you that remembers the lesson.
Treat everything with a modicum of respect until provided a reason from that specific thing (person, animal, plant, building, inanimate objects etc). Essentially – An individual should be held accountable for their own actions and not the actions of others. Race, Religion, Breed, Gender, Sexual Orientation, Material, Pattern, Fur, No fur, Texture – Whatever. Respect is absolutely earned. But it should also be provided to some level upfront. Otherwise we all just treat each other like the dirt-bags we prove we are over and over again. Everything/one has a story. It is no worse nor better than yours.It is different. The way a person processes all facets of their experience is different than how you might. It’s not wrong, its just different. When you think something is wrong – ask yourself ‘why’ and keep asking yourself why until you get to something other than “They All” or “Mom said”, “Grandpa said” or its just always was.
If there are 0 victims – no one was hurt, no life lost, no financial impact that will have a butterfly effect into someones life. No emotional damage. (Not just human either. all things) – What makes it wrong? I think I got off on a tangent that I didn’t intend to because I’m sure my theories and thoughts all have holes in them.
I remember back in Wisconsin, always trying to find an inner peace that I really struggled to obtain. The last few years there has been so much personal growth – Arizona was all about finding me apart from the me that friends and family projected. It was finding a style, a confidence, a voice. Our move to Washington has inspired so much more growth and so rapidly. I love it. Its scary sometimes. But then I look at the friends we made, the quality of friends we have, the acceptance, trust and the fact I feel so safe to be myself around them that those fears kind of just melt away.
Its great to be able to find my family that I fit into. I always felt out of place growing up. Different, I remember hiding in closets or under beds or blankets to get away. Here, I just want to be around them all the time!