Seek to Understand

I remember a conversation I had with my aunt and uncle. I was driving and hadn’t spoken to them in a long time and figured I’d give them a call. (I had about 50000 hours of driving ahead of me to. Please  note… that is all sarcasm. But… it was a long drive none the less.)

I came across this quote and it immediately reminds me of this conversation. I love my aunt and uncle to the moon! He has been my favorite uncle since I can remember. There are soooooooooo many fond memories I have of him and all of them I treasure.

Age has a way of changing people. The wisdom we get from the people we surround ourselves with and the echo chambers we create to avoid the things that annoy us. Over the years, My Aunt and Uncle changed and so did I. We don’t see eye to eye on everything and that’s fine.  I don’t expect anyone to believe or think the way I do. Actually I think I kind of hope no one does, because my head is quite the burden.

Anyways. I’m all over the place, trying to collect my thoughts to write this and trying not to have Niagara falls spewing from my eyes.

During the call we talked. (Right! Because what else are you going to do on a call? Grunt? Sing? Dance??? … Okay, yeah you can do all of these, but … you get the point)

We talked a lot about the differences we had and I remember being asked if I was recording the conversation.  I had to explain that I was very curious about the thought process, the path that led them to the opinions they had for the topic we were discussing.

I remember the pause I took when being asked, it seemed like a while to me, but it could have just been a millisecond. I was sad. Because in that split second I understood how much people throw accusations and point fingers and judge without ever trying to understand. And it leads us to distrust people who legitimately want to understand.

I may not agree with every topic discussed, that should be okay. I mean. I’m okay with it, Not sure about other people, but it should be okay. We should still be able to be friends, co-exist etc. I don’t need to hate your guts, and we can still have mutual respect. The goal should be ‘Seek to understand’.

So, While we may not agree on everything… When I inquired about the path that lead them to their opinions on the topic we were discussing. It was easier to take a step back and see that – really, we did agree on the topic, just not the journey.  The end goal is still the same, the approach is just different. It was nice to see that part of my aunt and uncle.

In the end… I’m sad that differences push people apart.